this prompt has been waiting, begging for me to reply to it. i love it so much i went and found music to accompany this fic. i love it so much i wrote nearly 4k words.
thank you for this gift, anon. thank you for my life.
It’s not that Kravitz and Barry are workaholics, exactly, but Taako and Lup are off on a spa weekend and Barry has a hot tip from one of the friends he insists on referring to as informants about a wine and cheese night for necromancers. It’s the kind of intelligence gathering opportunity that doesn’t come across Kravitz’s desk very often. Plus, Taako’s made some pointed comments about how Kravitz and Barry should spend more time together and work is the safest option without Taako and Lup around to act as a buffer. Otherwise he and Barry tend to get into arguments over the technicalities of the laws of life and death and whether or not Barry should be conducting experiments in his basement when he’s working for the Raven Queen.
Kravitz does like Barry, it’s just that they have… a very different view of how life and death are meant to function.
Kravitz shows up outside the address Barry sent him wearing a black three-piece suit and a black shirt, with a subtly skull-patterned dark grey tie as a pop of colour. Barry, in jeans and a red sweater, takes one look at him and snorts in amusement. “Well, nobody’s gonna think we know each other that well, huh?”
“You said wine and cheese. Wine and cheese is fancy,” Kravitz says, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. Honestly he hadn’t even thought think about what he was wearing before leaving his and Taako’s place, but he likes suits and he’s not conjuring himself a pair of jeans.
“No, it’s, uh, it’s good. The skulls are very on brand,” Barry promises. “Maybe lose the jacket? The informant who invited me is a forty-year-old mom of three.”
Kravitz rolls his eyes and the jacket disappears. “Better?”
“Yeah, more toned down. Thanks, bud. I know toned down isn’t exactly your and Taako’s vibe.”
Kravitz can’t quite keep his mouth from quirking into a smile. “Not really, no.”
Barry pushes his glasses up his nose and grins. “Hey, you’ll get free wine and we’ll figure out if this is a social group or a cult. Win-win. Ready?”
Kravitz glances up at the tidy little townhouse they’re standing in front of. “When you are.”
Barry leads the way up the steps and rings the doorbell. When the door swings open, there’s a cheerful looking halfling on the other side. Her hair is short and grey and she’s wearing chunky jewelry and a bright green cardigan. She looks more like a soccer mom than a necromancer. “Ben!” She beams up at Barry. “Nancy said she invited you, but I didn’t think you’d come.” She turns to Kravitz, giving him a strangely assessing once over that puts him a bit on edge, and then holds out a hand. “I’m Deb, Nancy’s wife, and I’m so pleased to meet you.”
“Kravitz,” he says, taking her hand in his and smiling. His name wasn’t broadcast into the minds of everyone in the planar system. He doesn’t need a fake one. “Thank you for inviting me, Deb.”
“You’re so handsome,” Deb says. “Ben, your husband is a catch. You know, I said to Nancy, I’ve seen the ring too, but some couples keep secrets and it’s not our place to pry, but she said she didn’t think you were the type and I’ve got say—sorry, Kravitz—we couldn’t help speculating. I’m so glad you came to couple’s night and we finally get to meet him.”
Kravitz stares at Deb, wide-eyed, then glances at Barry, who looks just as side-swiped by this as Kravitz feels.
There’s a moment of silence—a moment where there’s an opportunity for either Barry or Kravitz to say actually they’re not a couple this is all just a misunderstanding—and then Barry wraps an arm around Kravitz’s waist and smiles. “Well, Krav’s wanted to meet my friends for a while. Right, hon?”
Actually platonic fake dating concept: Lup and Taako are on vacation, and Barry and Kravitz decide to infiltrate this necromantic gathering to gather information… only to find out after they’ve already shown up that it is, in fact, a necromantic COUPLES event, and now it’s too late for them to go get their respective spouses without blowing their cover, so they just have to. Pretend to be a couple. Someone help them.
Published
Nava 