percy jackson audiobooks but they’re narrated by john mulaney
“You want the lightning bolt? Go get it!”
Gods: glad u survived the monsters we saw it from the throne room.
Percy: and you SAW what the monsters were doing to us
Gods: yeah bc we were sitting on the thrones
Percy: and yet you did NOTHING
Gods: ya bc we were SITTING on the THRONES
*minotaur shows up to the Battle of Manhattan* and THAT’S when the afternoon went from BAD to TERRIBLE
“I’ve never really cared about Greek Mythology. But then, last spring, the STRANGEST THING happened!”
“And then Mr. D said: “If I had my way, I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames.” You know, how you talk to a child.“
“Grover asked me if I liked Annabeth, and I said “No.” You know, like a liar.“
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