“Dolphin mermaids would be so cool” like, yes, a dolphin mermaid would save you from that shark, but she would absolutely find a way to hit on you mid-rescue. She’d probably be really gross about it, too. That is how dolphins are.
(And don’t think you’d get a romantic dinner out of it, either. A dolphin mermaid’s idea of a fun date would be like “hey, let’s get high on puffer fish venom and vandalise a yacht.”)
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