rubysevens:

Penumbra characters as things I’ve heard at school

Juno- I’m already gay, what more could I want besides death?

Rita- (yelling) LET ME KNOW WHEN I’VE BEEN LOUD

Peter- I didn’t murder you I just happened to throw a knife at your face

Sasha- *wheeling towards us on a desk chair* you’re always replaceable

Mick- He trains feral cats to vape

Ben- I don’t want to mourn my dead gay son

Cass Kanagawa- (cheerfully) who wants to get punched?

Cecil Kanagawa- it’s not torture if they’re already scared

Buddy- relax, we’re all felons sometimes

Jacket- he had the nerve to to tell me not to give up

Ramses- healthcare reform, am I right fellas?

Pilot- They’re a nonbinary cactus

The Pirahnna- Do you know how many fingers you have?

Miasma- I’m gonna kill the humans race then have a nice brunch

BONUS

Mag- I don’t know, i got stabbed I guess