-Your pattern calls for size 8 needles. You have all the size 8 needles in the world, you buy extras to teach people. You go to grab a pair. There are no size 8 needles.
-Your scarf is 3 feet long. It’s been 3 feet long for a month. No matter how much you knit/crochet, it will always be 3 feet long.
-You made a gauge swatch. It is perfect. The project you’re working on is nowhere near the right size. Your gauge still matches.
-You find the perfect yarn for a pattern you’ve been wanting to make. The craft store doesn’t carry it. The local yarn store doesn’t have it. It may have been discontinued years ago. It may never have existed. You no longer remember where you learned about it.
-You’re running out of yarn on a project and go to buy more. The dye lot number is different. Is it close enough? Maybe. Pray to the yarn gods, they are sometimes gracious enough to grant small prayers.
-You vow to only buy yarn for planned projects, your stash is getting overwhelming. It doesn’t matter what you plan, your stash will still grow without your help.
-You have yarn you bought for a project once.It didn’t work out and now it sits in your stash. Forever. There will never be another project that’s right for it.
-You took up spinning to curb your yarn habit. Your yarn habit is now your fiber habit and you have dual stashes. You may never actually make anything out of most of the yarn you spin. Both stashes continue to grow when you’re not looking.
-Your wip basket has things in it from years ago. You’ve forgotten about them. You’ve forgotten the patterns. You’re not sure you ever made them in the first place.
-Somehow your 3 foot long scarf is finally long enough. You run out of yarn before the end.
-You’re ready to cast on a new project. You grab two needles from your circular set. They are not the same size. Neither one of them has a match.
-The cable needle is not long enough. Stitches keep popping off the end of your needle. You switch to a longer cable, but stitches still keep popping off. You’ve hooked two 40-inch cables together. Your stitches won’t stay on the needle.
-You’ve frogged 2 rows of your scarf to finish the bind off. It’s now 2 feet long.
Your spinning wheel is making a weird noise. You’ve oiled and waxed every joint but you can still here it whispering a strange, lulling melody. You spin for hours, yet the bobbin remains empty.
-Something in your stash is moving. When did you get a rabbit? It looks at you with piercing red eyes and yawns. It’s ear tufts are absolutely enchanting. It pees and then lies down in the puddle.
-You finally finish the bind off on your scarf. You look for a yarn needle. You cannot find a yarn needle. You buy a new pack of needles and then put them away, only to find 20 more. When you find an end that was missed, you can’t find a yarn needle.
-You start a project as a gift for your partner. Two rows before you finish, you break up.
Yarn Gothic
Published
Nava 