You know that post that’s like “invite billionaires to your wedding because they’ll probably send you gifts” ? Taakitz fake wedding au

terezis:

andre, oh my god

• please consider that it’s lup who wheedles barry into (fake) marrying her, and they invite a bunch of billionaires to their (imaginary) ceremony.
• and one of them actually rsvps.
• that billionaire? 
• kravitz.
• i think they almost “cancel the wedding” because oh my god, what if this guy actually shows up? what will they do? oh my god. but taako convinces them to throw a reception for the wedding that never was. (maybe if they get married they’ll finally stop dancing around their feelings, jeezy creezy.) 
• kravitz does in fact show up to the “ceremony.” maybe he thinks it’s for one of his mother’s friends? or like, a shareholder at his company. whatever. doesn’t matter. the point is, here he is, awkwardly mingling with a bunch of strangers, trying and failing to pretend like he knows them all by name. the strangers are also trying and failing to pretend like they have history with kravitz, and also that they are absolutely wedding guests at an actual, real life wedding that definitely happened, for sure.
• but magnus is wearing a tuxedo with no sleeves. merle is wearing only the sleeves. he spends forty minutes trying to convince kravitz that they’re old poker buddies, and that kravitz owes him two hundred bucks, c’mon, pal, pay up. 
• kravitz is pretty sure he has never seen this man before in his life, but he’s not certain enough to call merle out on it.

• while all of this is happening  lup and barry are busy pining over each other, so sure that their feelings are unrequited even as they hold hands and kiss each other’s cheeks and look longingly into each other’s eyes while slow dancing to a thousand years by christina perri.
• taako and kravitz are also very genuinely hitting it off – except for the fact that taako’s the mastermind behind this whole event, and even though he really likes this guy, he’s sure that if kravitz finds out he’s been lied to, shit will hit the fan.
• (kravitz is honestly just relieved to learn that he did not actually promise merle they’d go vacationing together in the spring. 
• he thought that sounded fake, but merle looked so earnest about it that it was hard to tell.)