
nice night for flying
disgruntledinametallicatshirt:
you know what actually pisses me off? when I finally start to feel a smidge of confidence in my writing ability and then some JERK POSTS A SINGLE LINE FROM A TERRY PRATCHETT NOVEL AND IT’S BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER WRITE NO MATTER HOW MANY MILLENNIA I SPEND TRYING!
Terry was a professional writer from the age of 17. He worked as a journalist which meant that he had to learn to research, write and edit his own work very quickly or else he’d lose his job.
He was 23 when his first novel was published. After six years of writing professionally every single day. The Carpet People was a lovely novel, from a lovely writer, but almost all of Terry’s iconic truth bomb lines come from Discworld.
The Colour of Magic, the first ever Discworld novel was published in 1983. Terry was 35 years old. He had been writing professionally for 18 years. His career was old enough to vote, get married and drink. We now know that at 35 he was, tragically, over half way through his life. And do you know what us devoted, adoring Discworld fans say about The Colour of Magic? “Don’t start with Colour of Magic.”
It is the only reading order rule we ever give people. Because it’s not that great. Don’t get me wrong, very good book, although I’ll be honest I’ve never been able to finish it, but it’s nowhere near his later stuff. Compare it to Guards Guards, The Fifth Elephant, the utterly iconic Nightwatch and it pales in comparison because even after nearly 20 years of writing, half a lifetime of loving books and storytelling Terry was still learning.
He was a man with a wonderful natural talent, yes. But more importantly he worked and worked and worked to be a better writer. He was writing up until days before he died. He spent 49 years learning and growing as a writer, taking so much joy in storytelling that not even Alzheimer’s could steal it from him. He wouldn’t want that joy stolen from you too.
Terry was a wonderful, kind, compassionate, genius of a writer. And all of this was in spite of many many people telling him he wasn’t good enough. At the age of five his headmaster told him that he would never amount to anything. He died a knight of the realm and one of the most beloved writers ever to have lived in a country with a vast and rich literary tradition. He wouldn’t let anyone tell him that he wasn’t good enough. And he wouldn’t want you to think you aren’t good enough. He especially wouldn’t want to be the reason why you think you aren’t good enough.
You’re not Terry Pratchett.
You are you.
And Terry would love that.
I only ever had a chance to talk to Terry Pratchett once, and that was in an autograph line. I’d bought a copy of The Carpet People, which was his very first book, and he looked at it with a faint air of concern. “You realise that I wrote that when I was very young,” he said, in warning.
“Yes,” I said. “But I like seeing how authors grow.”
He brightened and reached for his pen. “That’s all right then,” he said, and signed.
So.
Juno’s loaded.
My name’s Juno Steel. I’m a Private Eye, and that means I’m supposed to reserve my blaster for whoever pays my bills. The money hasn’t mattered to me for years, but even so… it was a rule, and rules are comfortable. (Long Way Home)
RITA: They ain’t expensive, Boss. Prob’ly cost less than yours, and yours’s a real dump, which don’t make any sense cuz y’know as your financial advisor I’ve been meanin’ t’tell you to start spendin’ some of the money comin’ in cuz it ain’t like you’re usin— (Man of the Future)
I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it?
He’s been working on retainer for Ramses for months now. Even before then, his clientele included people like Maia King, the Kanagawa family, the Prince of Mars, and Valles Vicky– and always, “all expenses paid” by his clients. Which suggests to me that they’re also paying his medical bills when he gets the crap beaten out of him on the clock.
He was also able to keep his office open and keep Rita on the clock for six months without taking a case, without any mentions of concern for his or Rita’s financial wellbeing. And when he was planning to close up shop, it wasn’t like he was planning to go into the fast food business to make ends meet. In fact, he didn’t seem to have any plans at all.
I don’t think he’s exactly spending it on things. He’s spending money on booze and food, but… not much else, is he? He seems to have been too deep into depression to pursue any hobbies or interests. He’s been too clueless regarding technology to exactly splurge on the latest new devices. He doesn’t travel.
His car was a piece of garbage, and since the events of Final Resting Place, there’s been no mention of him ever driving anywhere. Any time he mentions travelling, it’s by foot, in Ramses’ limo, on Jacket’s bike, or with Rita. I don’t think he got a new one. And he’s not about to go back to a strip club or something, because the last time he wound up indentured to Valles Vicky.
I am curious, though.
The money hasn’t mattered to me for years, but even so…
Is that just because he’s had that much money that he doesn’t give a shit? If so, is it because of his clients, or is it coming from somewhere else entirely?
Or is it one of those depression things, where you hit a point where you’re just physically incapable of wanting anything anymore, so why bother spending what you have?
But it’s been brought up multiple times at this point, and that’s setting off some signal flares for me.
But he canonically didn’t have enough money for a bionic eye and there was something about Rita making a jar for an “eye fund” that never filled up. So either an eye is so super expensive that several months of living expenses wouldn’t be enough or he doesn’t actually have that much. Maybe Rita just meant the money since Ramses?
I’m away from home so I can’t pull the quote, but when Peter suggests the eye, Juno tells him that it’s so expensive that the only people who can afford them can also afford private armies.
And Cecil is rich enough to have a private floating mansion, but even he made a stink about the cost of a bionic arm.
I’m thinking not just months of living expenses, but years– the modern equivalent of buying an island, that kind of price range.
Even Buddy’s “bargain basement” eye cost more than a new car.
So I’m thinking that it’s not the kind of thing that Juno would have been able to pay for on his own, even if he was way richer than we previously thought.
Not only that, but when Brown Jacket says he sold a car to afford Buddy’s eye, Juno said it must have been ‘some car’. So, Buddy’s eye probably cost considerably more than one would generally spend on a new car (my running theory is that the car was the Ruby 7). So Juno could have enough to support his minimalist lifestyle for even years without coming near enough to afford a working eye.
Just as an aside, while lack of care for material items and money could be linked to Juno’s depression, it doesn’t have to be. It could just be his personality. If he has enough to support living, he doesn’t need or want extra. Nice things just don’t matter to him. It would track with the way he reacted to the suit Peter bought him, he didn’t mention the quality of the fabric or style, just the fit. It struck me when he said it as kind of refreshing and relateable. I assumed when he said he hadn’t cared for years, he meant he hasn’t cared since his engagement fell through. Maybe Diamond cared about having nice things. (If Diamond was his fiancee we still just don’t know).
Same hat regarding the theory that his car was the Ruby 7. I’m still holding out hope that Jacket is Jet
Sikuliaq.
As for Juno’s frugality being a depression thing, there’s a good chance I’m projecting on the depression front. It could just as easily have more to do with his guiding philosophy of “whatever Sarah Steel would do, I’m gonna do the opposite”, or his need to have enough resources to
bail out Mick when he gets in troublegenerally take care of people, or a very intense need to not end up back in Old Town after all the work he put into getting out of there.I do want to add, though, that he has a pattern of refusing to take care of what he does have.
Rita calls his apartment a “real dump”. When Mick compliments him on having “chrome seats” in Day That Wouldn’t Die, Juno corrects him that the seats are actually being held together with duct tape, and in Train From Nowhere Peter refers to it as a deathtrap that hasn’t been inspected in three years. (And as someone who just came back from selling my car for scrap, not taking consistent care of a vehicle is a fast track to it dying prematurely.) Even his business is probably hemorrhaging money at the start of Season 2, given that he’s refusing clients at every turn and still paying the rent, utilities, and Rita for a full six months of regular business hours.
Good morning I’m Emotional about Merit Brightwood!!
Welcome to every day of my life!!!!!!! But on steroids this time because the fact I’m rambling at you means IT’S REALLY STRONG IN ME TODAY, AND SOMEONE, IF NOT EVERYONE, MUST KNOW
Good morning! @krshush is a Menace!!
(theres a reason i won’t write this one: the only idea i could think of was. weird)
rex quondam, rexque futurus
hyperion city has no king; it has had no king for a long time. juno steel is a fallen knight, a lost soul, and he no longer believes in kings, in vows of honor or whispers of hope; only in pursuing the Beast that has haunted him his entire life. peter nureyev is only half human, a changeling with a vendetta; slipping between the worlds of men and monsters, magic at his fingertips and glamour in his steps. no crown is safe from him, and he leaves rebellions in his wake.
then juno meets a man with iron in his heart and a plan for a new throne and a better world, and peter is hired by a woman who seems to want Hyperion kingless as much as he does. they know that somewhere in the city is the Sword which will make its holder king; so do the forces who have controlled Hyperion for generations. the only question is whose champion will prove themselves worthy by finding it first.
(or, the plots of seasons 1 and 2 happening simultaneously as a high-fantasy treasure-hunt-slash-heist where Juno and Peter end up working together to stop control over the lives of everyone in Hyperion from falling into the wrong hands)
harry potter masterchef au where gordon ramsey spends the whole time yelling at snape
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12805206 – Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce by @imagitory
You’ll never see the end of the road while you’re traveling with me.